Sep. 28th, 2012

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So much stress. I have other things to work on, an apparently boundless capacity for packing my schedule, and wildly swinging sensations that I have a vibrant social life or am terribly anti-social and just want to sit in my apartment, playing Jessica's Theme and the Well-Tempered Clavier Prelude XXI. Some people have video games, I have piano music I've been working on for eight years and still haven't memorized.

At least I found a really, really good diversion this morning, which was a doctor's appointment over some whats-its whereat. Turns out that the mumble-mumble could be fixed quite easily with surgery, and it wouldn't be billed as an elective surgery because it's a matter of health and chronic pain. Two weeks of pain and forced inactivity and an additional month of delicate management, small price to pay for the ability to use tampons, not to mention I've put up with it for ten years or so already. And to phrase it as ambiguously as possible, it's not like I have any immediate plans that would be upset by lengthy convalescence. No one ever mentions these things, of course, except the occasional reference to vulvodynia, which as often as not simply implies some psychosomatic problem that could be resolved wirh proper conditioning and maybe a few romantic candles.

After the efforts I went to to avoid surgery, it seems a little ironic I'm now going to be planning my winter break around one. Still, best to pick a time I don't have to go to class or work, and middle of winter means I'm not going to miss out on the great outdoors. Still, how many other people plan their illnesses like this? I've spent quality time at the clinic every year now for the last three years, and it is ALWAYS during winter break.

June 2014

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